hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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