susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
