I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm having to shit out rocks
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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