I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
she peed on how many people?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
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