I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
