I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
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I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
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Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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