My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
