Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Randomize
