you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
