You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
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