rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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