oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
