John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
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