her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
