I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize