I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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