i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
