Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
