where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
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Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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