I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
