I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
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