So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Green mimosas i think yes
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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