party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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