I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
