Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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