ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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