don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize