1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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