I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
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