i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
