I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize