Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
