you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I fill condoms, not promises.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
