While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Randomize
