i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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