Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
God, I missed his penis.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
