This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
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