you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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