I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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