ADVERTISEMENT

• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.

  (1-814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.

  Fav 15 1216 2507

  share tweet
  

• (757): View more from Virginia

  I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.

  Fav 6 1248 2445

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (719): View more from Colorado

  I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.

  Fav 11 3754 773

  share tweet
  

• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.

  Fav 5 1818 996

  share tweet
  

• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.

  Fav 9 2879 1221

  share tweet
  

• (216): View more from Ohio

  He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.

  (1-216): View more from Ohio

  Go her

  Fav 6 2331 910

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (310): View more from California

  Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub

  Fav 13 812 2384

  share tweet
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?

  Fav 3 1077 667

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?

  Fav 1 999 562

  share tweet
  

• (704): View more from North Carolina

  By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance

  Fav 1 582 598

  share tweet
  

• (517): View more from Michigan

  He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..

  Fav 0 130 102

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.

  Fav 3 54 105

  share tweet
  

• (786): View more from Florida

  I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ

  Fav 0 5 34

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!

  Fav 0 69 8

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (858): View more from California

  What should I list for life skills

  (619): View more from California

  How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that

  (858): View more from California

  Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California

  Fav 0 52 39

  share tweet
  

Randomize