Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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