Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
