hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
