What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
God, I missed his penis.
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