Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Michael Bay diarrhea
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
