I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
