But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
