he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
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