Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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