the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize