Can i not drive my cunt home
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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