Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
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Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
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Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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