she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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