So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
