Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
