I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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