Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
