508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
