She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
